Hi to all! I want to ask you a quick favor: if you can, please consider donating to the Alabama Lyme Disease Association. We are growing but relatively new and need some help so that we can spread much-needed awareness in our state. If you can spare a few dollars--that would be incredible. If you can spare a few thousand dollars, that would be incredible, too :)
If you cannot afford to donate, please share this link on your facebook page and maybe it will reach someone who can. I know that God will provide for us; we just have to trust in him. Thank you all.
Here is the link:
http://www.gofundme.com/Alabama-Lyme-Disease
Friday, February 28, 2014
Thursday, February 27, 2014
My Personal Lyme Story: The Fight for my Life
Sarah Israel
Contributing Writer
Friday, Jan 10,2014
PC: Erin Zimmerman Photography \ MUA: Morgan King Makeup \ Wardrobe: Siren's at the Beach (Santa Rosa Beach) \ Styling: Rachel K of The Southern Atelier
Last year, after being sick for over 10 years, I began sharing about my disease. I am an incredibly private person and until last May, I only gave specifics of my illnesses to those closest to me. I did it to protect myself, build barriers, so that I would not appear weak. But mostly, I now believe I did it because of my pride.
I have always taken very good care of my physical-self, working out very hard and eating healthy. Having people know that I was 'sick' was embarrassing to me. Plus, many of my diagnoses and the treatments that come with them are topics that do not belong in civilized conversation, especially with my male friends. It was never something I was comfortable sharing.
Every few years I would get a handful of diagnoses and begin treatment, but I was still sick despite my multiple doctors’ best efforts. Finally, in June of 2012, I was diagnosed in DC by one of the leading Lyme Literate Medical Doctors (LLMD), as having Late Stage Chronic Lyme Disease and several co-infections, including Babesiosis and Bartonella.
All of the diseases I had been diagnosed with through-out my lifetime were caused by Chronic Late Stage Lyme Disease as well as it’s co-infections, which are often worse than the Lyme itself. I, along with most Chronic Lyme patients, have several co-infections, but I will only cover the two worst ones I have. The first, and most difficult to treat is Babesiosis, a malaria-like parasitic disease caused by infection with Babesia, a genus of protozoal piroplasms (called “Malaria at it’s worst”). The second major co-infection I have is Bartonella. “Bartonella henselae is the causative agent of the notorious cat-scratch fever, endocarditis, and several other serious diseases in humans. It is not uncommon for patients to contract encephalopathy.”http://www.envita.com/lyme-disease/chronic-lyme-disease-coinfection-bartonella-causing-more-chronic-fatigue-problems#sthash.054HxyVR.dpuf
This diagnosis of Late Stage Chronic Lyme Disease (CLD) was like an umbrella--it covered every single illness I had ever been diagnosed with (see list below), because those illnesses are all symptoms of CLD. CLD is known as "The Great Imitator" for mimicking over 300 diseases such as MS, ALS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and Rheumatoid Arthritis, to name a few. My sister, Julia, was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 2 and we have recently learned that her JRA was actually caused by CLD that we both contracted in vitro. Click here to read her story:http://whenlifehandsyoulyme.blogspot.com/2013/08/guest-blog-lifelong-battle-with-jra-lyme.html
Here is a list of the diagnoses I received over my lifetime that were caused by CLD:
Malignant Brain Tumor
Mononeuritis Multiplex
Neuroborreliosis
Fibromyalgia
Idiopathic Hypersomnia
Mitral Valve Prolapse
Dysautonomia
Hypothyroidism/Hyperthyroidism
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Fibrocystic Breast Disorder
Complex Ovarian Cysts
Endometriosis
2 Abdominal Hernias
Vestibulitis
Interstitial Cystitis
Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction (High Tone, Rated: Severe)
Pelvic Congestion
Tumors in Pelvic Floor
Appendix Stones
Kidney Stones
Arthritis: Left SI joint and Left Knee
Narrowing of both SI Joints
Abnormality in Cervical Spine
Coccydynia
Anxiety/Depression
Non-Epileptic Seizures
Pain Induced Panic Attacks
Severe Muscle Spasms
Acute Paralysis
Speech Paralysis
Symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis
Symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease
Relieved that I now had a reason to why I was not getting any better from previous years of treatment and all three pelvic surgeries, I began telling my local doctors the 'good news.' For me, being diagnosed with Lyme, something treatable, was a blessing. I had been facing a lifetime of sickness with doctors who had either given up on me or told me we had tried everything possible with no success. We all thought I would be severely sick the rest of my life and never truly get any answers. I was advised to have my eggs frozen, as my reproductive system would eventually fail. I knew that treatment for CLD would be grueling, but it was much more favorable to go through years of torturous treatment, put it into remission, and move on with my life than to live a life of chronic illness, wondering why I would never get well.
I quickly learned that CLD carries many negative connotations and many are extremely skeptical. I had some doctors tell me that it does not exist, others that it does not exist in the South (although research has proven otherwise). I was written off by most people, some friends telling others that my disease was not a big deal and I was just being dramatic and craving attention.
I became very isolated, partly due to the heartbreaking reaction of others to my diagnosis but mostly due to the nature of the treatment. The protocol to treat CLD is lengthy and actually makes you much worse before you get better. My life was filled with complete darkness and depression, I could barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I would have to get back in bed to rest after a simple act of brushing my teeth or washing my face. I was in constant, agonizing pain. I would have seizures, pass kidney stones, and go in and out of consciousness all in one day.
This time was truly the darkest days of my life, I was hopeless. My brain was so foggy that I could not think straight, much less walk straight. My short-term memory was shot. I was beginning to wonder if I was going crazy. I was desperate and had to quit treatment for a few months, which was devastating given the length of time it was going to take to go into remission to begin with. It turned out my body could not handle this phase of treatment and I was having severe reactions. I was having a massive healing crisis; the antibiotics were killing off the spirochetes faster than my body could detoxify them. The kill-off produces toxins to be released into your system, and if the amount of toxins gets too high, it can wreak havoc on your body and even lead to death.
I slowly came back into the light after putting the treatment on hold. I started seeing an Ayuverdic specialist here in Homewood, Denise at Blissful Heights. I got my body back in balance and began treatment again and this time I had learned my lesson. I became obsessive about detoxing and still consider it my full time job, as it requires total commitment.
May rolled around and I was handling my treatment much better. It also happened to be Lyme Disease Awareness Month. I was re-watching a speech by Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and former model Yolanda Foster regarding her battle with Lyme, crying with frustration that there are so few advocates for Lyme Disease that have celebrity as a platform (most celebrities with Lyme Disease do not go public with their battle). Then it hit me: instead of continuing to hide this disease from others by virtually disappearing from friends and family, I needed to be an advocate. I did not have a platform to be heard by millions like Yolanda, but I do have facebook and a blog and I, too, can reach people.
I started May off by posting educational information for Lyme Awareness on facebook—tired of my self-imposed silence and wanting to break free of my fear. The love and support I received was completely overwhelming. The South is severely lacking in Lyme advocates, so I was emboldened by the initial response of support to try and fill that roll and joined an amazing organization called the Alabama Lyme Disease Association (https://www.facebook.com/AlabamaLymeDisease). It started off with a few facebook posts and then my blog, which, to my dismay, has been incredibly successful and read by over 12,000 people around the world.
I would be selfish not to speak for those infected who do not have a voice. I have met so many Alabamians who have CLD but cannot afford the treatment. The most important thing right now is for people to learn about Lyme disease - to know that over 300,000 people become infected on a yearly basis, and to know that for the most part the government is ignoring it and insurance companies will not touch it since the treatment costs are so significant.
The treatment for CLD is aggressive and lengthy. I am beyond blessed to go to the leading Lyme Literate Medical Doctor, who was formerly one of the top AIDS researchers, so he has a very strong background in Infectious Disease. Treatment makes you significantly more sick before you get better. It is a grueling journey—one that has left me bedridden, unable to think or speak at times, and in a pit of total darkness. Because of how torturous treatment is, along with other factors, such as isolation, the suicide rate in CLD patients is extremely high. Most do not commit suicide because they are depressed—but because it is the only way to escape the physical pain and mental anguish you experience.
Invisible illnesses are hard to understand, and most people's natural reaction is to back away from the unknown. I pray that the people who read this that have their health will gain a better understanding of how to 'handle' it when a person in their life becomes sick...not necessarily with Lyme but with any other disease that you cannot see with the naked eye.
Living with Lyme has taught me so many lessons, and already I am a happier person because of it. I have found a closeness with God that I didn't realize was possible and have completely let go of all my fears. One day a few months ago, I was suffering from a rather gloomy outlook and it seemed as if my treatment would go on forever and it would never end. I was in a very child-like state--feeling so sorry for myself and thinking over and over again that I will never beat this--and while in this state I had an uncontrollable yearning to be held by my father like when I was a child and he would tell me "everything will be okay"...and he seemingly always made things better. I always felt safest that way and when you are a child you truly believe with all of your heart that your parents can indeed make everything better.
I remember lying on the bathroom floor in a ball of pain and crying, rocking back and forth, and screaming "Why God? Why!! I cannot do this. I just need someone to hold me and tell me I will be okay." I suddenly realized that the yearning I felt was not for my father on earth, but for my Heavenly Father. At that moment I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders and a warmth that calmed me down enough to fall asleep. The next morning I woke up and felt something new deep down in my Soul. It was not a belief that I will get better and I will heal, it was a profound and factual knowledge that I WILL conquer this disease, without a doubt.
I have always felt close to God and prayed in the morning, before meals, and at night. But on that day I felt lifted up so high as that I could see everything from God's perspective. I started to learn how to live with him by my side at all times and share with him everything I do and everything I am going through. My yoga and meditation practices even became spiritual, a time to calm my mind and just listen, and to take the time to thank Him for his healing Grace.
The treatment had caused my small frame to balloon up to 145 lbs, and I could barely look at myself in the mirror. But once I started living my life close to God, the image in the mirror changed. This diseased body of mine is just something my Soul is living in while I am on Earth. My soul is not sick, just the capsule that carries it. I am not saying that I was able to get over my pride overnight, but it did make it much easier to handle. By the way, to show you how crazy the treatment can be, I lost all of the weight in a few months by switching antibiotics and now have lost too much weight (I'm fighting to stay over 100 lbs and lack any muscle tone at all). Random weight gain and weight loss occurs in a lot of Lyme patients, as does severe muscle atrophy.
Before my body put on the brakes and completely quit on me, I was working 60-70 hour work weeks working for my father. He in no way required this of me and even told me to stop working so much, but my overly-compulsive Type A personality would not allow it.
Fast-forward to now: after a lot of hard work and yoga, yoga therapy, ayuverdic therapy, meditation, breathing exercises with a biofeedback machine, etc I have learned to control the beastly Type A overachieving personality and become closer to Type B. This is not something I am doing so that I can get better and get back to work and my old ways, it has been a complete lifestyle change. I have learned to love myself exactly as I am and to not judge my body on what it is going through. I have a greater appreciation of God's creation and even see colors more vividly. I feel so at peace in nature and have a peaceful mind, something that I have never had before. Instead of judging my self-worth based on my accomplishments (I was named Birmingham's top Young Professional and received several community service awards, including MyScoop’s Birmingham’s Top Belle), I have learned to love myself as God made me, not because of what I have achieved but because of the person God created me to be.
I have made a major lifestyle change that will remain with me the rest of my life. I am still the same person--a little too competitive and obsessive at times--but God has found a light in the darkness of this disease. I will never be the same as I was before and thus my life will be so much more fulfilling. This curse has become my blessing and will change the course of my life forever.
God bless you all and please join me in praying for all those infected with Lyme...send them love, support, and healing. A patient's mental state has a lot to do with the success or failure of fighting a disease, so show love and kindness to all you know who are ill. After all, happiness and companionship are far stronger than any painkiller.
Thank you to all of you who have always supported me—my family, my amazing boyfriend and my friends. I am blessed to have such a wonderful group of people who have never given up on me.
Every few years I would get a handful of diagnoses and begin treatment, but I was still sick despite my multiple doctors’ best efforts. Finally, in June of 2012, I was diagnosed in DC by one of the leading Lyme Literate Medical Doctors (LLMD), as having Late Stage Chronic Lyme Disease and several co-infections, including Babesiosis and Bartonella.
All of the diseases I had been diagnosed with through-out my lifetime were caused by Chronic Late Stage Lyme Disease as well as it’s co-infections, which are often worse than the Lyme itself. I, along with most Chronic Lyme patients, have several co-infections, but I will only cover the two worst ones I have. The first, and most difficult to treat is Babesiosis, a malaria-like parasitic disease caused by infection with Babesia, a genus of protozoal piroplasms (called “Malaria at it’s worst”). The second major co-infection I have is Bartonella. “Bartonella henselae is the causative agent of the notorious cat-scratch fever, endocarditis, and several other serious diseases in humans. It is not uncommon for patients to contract encephalopathy.”http://www.envita.com/lyme-disease/chronic-lyme-disease-coinfection-bartonella-causing-more-chronic-fatigue-problems#sthash.054HxyVR.dpuf
This diagnosis of Late Stage Chronic Lyme Disease (CLD) was like an umbrella--it covered every single illness I had ever been diagnosed with (see list below), because those illnesses are all symptoms of CLD. CLD is known as "The Great Imitator" for mimicking over 300 diseases such as MS, ALS, Parkinson's, Alzheimer's and Rheumatoid Arthritis, to name a few. My sister, Julia, was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 2 and we have recently learned that her JRA was actually caused by CLD that we both contracted in vitro. Click here to read her story:http://whenlifehandsyoulyme.blogspot.com/2013/08/guest-blog-lifelong-battle-with-jra-lyme.html
Here is a list of the diagnoses I received over my lifetime that were caused by CLD:
Malignant Brain Tumor
Mononeuritis Multiplex
Neuroborreliosis
Fibromyalgia
Idiopathic Hypersomnia
Mitral Valve Prolapse
Dysautonomia
Hypothyroidism/Hyperthyroidism
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
Fibrocystic Breast Disorder
Complex Ovarian Cysts
Endometriosis
2 Abdominal Hernias
Vestibulitis
Interstitial Cystitis
Pelvic Floor Muscle Dysfunction (High Tone, Rated: Severe)
Pelvic Congestion
Tumors in Pelvic Floor
Appendix Stones
Kidney Stones
Arthritis: Left SI joint and Left Knee
Narrowing of both SI Joints
Abnormality in Cervical Spine
Coccydynia
Anxiety/Depression
Non-Epileptic Seizures
Pain Induced Panic Attacks
Severe Muscle Spasms
Acute Paralysis
Speech Paralysis
Symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis
Symptoms of Parkinson’s Disease
Relieved that I now had a reason to why I was not getting any better from previous years of treatment and all three pelvic surgeries, I began telling my local doctors the 'good news.' For me, being diagnosed with Lyme, something treatable, was a blessing. I had been facing a lifetime of sickness with doctors who had either given up on me or told me we had tried everything possible with no success. We all thought I would be severely sick the rest of my life and never truly get any answers. I was advised to have my eggs frozen, as my reproductive system would eventually fail. I knew that treatment for CLD would be grueling, but it was much more favorable to go through years of torturous treatment, put it into remission, and move on with my life than to live a life of chronic illness, wondering why I would never get well.
I quickly learned that CLD carries many negative connotations and many are extremely skeptical. I had some doctors tell me that it does not exist, others that it does not exist in the South (although research has proven otherwise). I was written off by most people, some friends telling others that my disease was not a big deal and I was just being dramatic and craving attention.
I became very isolated, partly due to the heartbreaking reaction of others to my diagnosis but mostly due to the nature of the treatment. The protocol to treat CLD is lengthy and actually makes you much worse before you get better. My life was filled with complete darkness and depression, I could barely get out of bed to go to the bathroom. I would have to get back in bed to rest after a simple act of brushing my teeth or washing my face. I was in constant, agonizing pain. I would have seizures, pass kidney stones, and go in and out of consciousness all in one day.
This time was truly the darkest days of my life, I was hopeless. My brain was so foggy that I could not think straight, much less walk straight. My short-term memory was shot. I was beginning to wonder if I was going crazy. I was desperate and had to quit treatment for a few months, which was devastating given the length of time it was going to take to go into remission to begin with. It turned out my body could not handle this phase of treatment and I was having severe reactions. I was having a massive healing crisis; the antibiotics were killing off the spirochetes faster than my body could detoxify them. The kill-off produces toxins to be released into your system, and if the amount of toxins gets too high, it can wreak havoc on your body and even lead to death.
I slowly came back into the light after putting the treatment on hold. I started seeing an Ayuverdic specialist here in Homewood, Denise at Blissful Heights. I got my body back in balance and began treatment again and this time I had learned my lesson. I became obsessive about detoxing and still consider it my full time job, as it requires total commitment.
May rolled around and I was handling my treatment much better. It also happened to be Lyme Disease Awareness Month. I was re-watching a speech by Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star and former model Yolanda Foster regarding her battle with Lyme, crying with frustration that there are so few advocates for Lyme Disease that have celebrity as a platform (most celebrities with Lyme Disease do not go public with their battle). Then it hit me: instead of continuing to hide this disease from others by virtually disappearing from friends and family, I needed to be an advocate. I did not have a platform to be heard by millions like Yolanda, but I do have facebook and a blog and I, too, can reach people.
I started May off by posting educational information for Lyme Awareness on facebook—tired of my self-imposed silence and wanting to break free of my fear. The love and support I received was completely overwhelming. The South is severely lacking in Lyme advocates, so I was emboldened by the initial response of support to try and fill that roll and joined an amazing organization called the Alabama Lyme Disease Association (https://www.facebook.com/AlabamaLymeDisease). It started off with a few facebook posts and then my blog, which, to my dismay, has been incredibly successful and read by over 12,000 people around the world.
I would be selfish not to speak for those infected who do not have a voice. I have met so many Alabamians who have CLD but cannot afford the treatment. The most important thing right now is for people to learn about Lyme disease - to know that over 300,000 people become infected on a yearly basis, and to know that for the most part the government is ignoring it and insurance companies will not touch it since the treatment costs are so significant.
The treatment for CLD is aggressive and lengthy. I am beyond blessed to go to the leading Lyme Literate Medical Doctor, who was formerly one of the top AIDS researchers, so he has a very strong background in Infectious Disease. Treatment makes you significantly more sick before you get better. It is a grueling journey—one that has left me bedridden, unable to think or speak at times, and in a pit of total darkness. Because of how torturous treatment is, along with other factors, such as isolation, the suicide rate in CLD patients is extremely high. Most do not commit suicide because they are depressed—but because it is the only way to escape the physical pain and mental anguish you experience.
Invisible illnesses are hard to understand, and most people's natural reaction is to back away from the unknown. I pray that the people who read this that have their health will gain a better understanding of how to 'handle' it when a person in their life becomes sick...not necessarily with Lyme but with any other disease that you cannot see with the naked eye.
Living with Lyme has taught me so many lessons, and already I am a happier person because of it. I have found a closeness with God that I didn't realize was possible and have completely let go of all my fears. One day a few months ago, I was suffering from a rather gloomy outlook and it seemed as if my treatment would go on forever and it would never end. I was in a very child-like state--feeling so sorry for myself and thinking over and over again that I will never beat this--and while in this state I had an uncontrollable yearning to be held by my father like when I was a child and he would tell me "everything will be okay"...and he seemingly always made things better. I always felt safest that way and when you are a child you truly believe with all of your heart that your parents can indeed make everything better.
I remember lying on the bathroom floor in a ball of pain and crying, rocking back and forth, and screaming "Why God? Why!! I cannot do this. I just need someone to hold me and tell me I will be okay." I suddenly realized that the yearning I felt was not for my father on earth, but for my Heavenly Father. At that moment I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders and a warmth that calmed me down enough to fall asleep. The next morning I woke up and felt something new deep down in my Soul. It was not a belief that I will get better and I will heal, it was a profound and factual knowledge that I WILL conquer this disease, without a doubt.
I have always felt close to God and prayed in the morning, before meals, and at night. But on that day I felt lifted up so high as that I could see everything from God's perspective. I started to learn how to live with him by my side at all times and share with him everything I do and everything I am going through. My yoga and meditation practices even became spiritual, a time to calm my mind and just listen, and to take the time to thank Him for his healing Grace.
The treatment had caused my small frame to balloon up to 145 lbs, and I could barely look at myself in the mirror. But once I started living my life close to God, the image in the mirror changed. This diseased body of mine is just something my Soul is living in while I am on Earth. My soul is not sick, just the capsule that carries it. I am not saying that I was able to get over my pride overnight, but it did make it much easier to handle. By the way, to show you how crazy the treatment can be, I lost all of the weight in a few months by switching antibiotics and now have lost too much weight (I'm fighting to stay over 100 lbs and lack any muscle tone at all). Random weight gain and weight loss occurs in a lot of Lyme patients, as does severe muscle atrophy.
Before my body put on the brakes and completely quit on me, I was working 60-70 hour work weeks working for my father. He in no way required this of me and even told me to stop working so much, but my overly-compulsive Type A personality would not allow it.
Fast-forward to now: after a lot of hard work and yoga, yoga therapy, ayuverdic therapy, meditation, breathing exercises with a biofeedback machine, etc I have learned to control the beastly Type A overachieving personality and become closer to Type B. This is not something I am doing so that I can get better and get back to work and my old ways, it has been a complete lifestyle change. I have learned to love myself exactly as I am and to not judge my body on what it is going through. I have a greater appreciation of God's creation and even see colors more vividly. I feel so at peace in nature and have a peaceful mind, something that I have never had before. Instead of judging my self-worth based on my accomplishments (I was named Birmingham's top Young Professional and received several community service awards, including MyScoop’s Birmingham’s Top Belle), I have learned to love myself as God made me, not because of what I have achieved but because of the person God created me to be.
I have made a major lifestyle change that will remain with me the rest of my life. I am still the same person--a little too competitive and obsessive at times--but God has found a light in the darkness of this disease. I will never be the same as I was before and thus my life will be so much more fulfilling. This curse has become my blessing and will change the course of my life forever.
God bless you all and please join me in praying for all those infected with Lyme...send them love, support, and healing. A patient's mental state has a lot to do with the success or failure of fighting a disease, so show love and kindness to all you know who are ill. After all, happiness and companionship are far stronger than any painkiller.
Thank you to all of you who have always supported me—my family, my amazing boyfriend and my friends. I am blessed to have such a wonderful group of people who have never given up on me.
May 2015 Update: I was hospitalized last Fall and had to move back in with my parents. My outcome was looking bleak--I had toxic hepatitis from treatment and the doctor told my now-fiance had we waited any longer to come in I could have suffered complete brain damage or even loss of life. I started to wonder if the fight was over and continued to pray to God for miraculous healing. By Christmas of 2014 I was able to function more normally than I can ever remember.
Chronic Lyme patients with co-infections do not suddenly get better--it is a very slow progress. God performed another miracle on Christmas and started giving me my life back. My specialists were baffled at this sudden and extreme improvement and instead of moving on to remission treatment they chose to forgo any more treatment and told me if I continued my healthy lifestyle and holistic treatments that I could put myself into remission. God went above and beyond again--I had been praying for remission treatment in lieu of the intense regimen I had been on. But our God has no limitations and he showed me I was not dreaming big enough.
I still do not function normally but most days people who do not know me cannot tell I'm sick--and most days I do not look sick. I've gained 15-20 lbs back and no longer have that yellow/gray palor to my skin. I still have flare-ups but I no longer feel tortured. I go back to my specialist in DC within the next month and would appreciate prayers that I am close to or have found remission. It will still take a year at least for my body to heal from the trauma but I will gladly take that on.
I'm getting married to the love of my life in Alys Beach (in Santa Rosa Beach, FL) in September and I have been able to start a fashion blog with a new friend who is so amazingly supportive of me. Our blog, The Southern Atelier, has brought so much joy into my life. And Rachel and I are using it as a platform to raise awareness and funds for Lyme Disease in the South. I'm also excited about moving from Birmingham, AL to Fairhope, AL and for the ability to do so.
I will leave you with one last image. This is when I got home from the hospital in late October and the picture on the right is of me and my fiancé a week before Christmas. Much love to you all. If either picture is not loading please click the small square box.
Here I am doing the #lymediseasechallenge. Please join me and #takeabiteoutoflymedisease. Just post it on your social media using those two hashtags.
For Additional Information:
http://whenlifehandsyoulyme.blogspot.com/
www.facebook.com/whenlifehandsyoulyme
www.facebook.com/alabamalymedisease
http://www.tiredoflyme.com/
http://whenlifehandsyoulyme.blogspot.com/
www.facebook.com/whenlifehandsyoulyme
www.facebook.com/alabamalymedisease
http://www.tiredoflyme.com/
Please follow The Southern Atelier on Facebook and Instagram!
Monday, January 13, 2014
Guest Blog, The TRUTH About Dressy Date Nights:
Foreword: This is a guest blog written by a beautiful friend, both inside and out, named Kari. Although she does not have Lyme disease, but other illnesses, her explanation rings true and can be applied to any Lymie's situation. This is the perfect answer to the statement "But you don't look sick..." and is educational for those who know we are sick yet get confused when they see us out. A very special thank you to Kari for allowing me to share her story and a special thanks in advance for all of those with Lyme she will undoubtedly be helping.
The TRUTH About Our Dressy Date Nights
We take pictures for good reason, because that means I got fully
ready and we BOTH got out. To make this date happen, I stayed in bed until noon
last Friday, with no plans to do anything else during the day. That meant that
outside of resting my body/stomach, I would only have to focus on getting ready
when it was date time. I woke up in pain and didn't tolerate my first meal of
the day well at all, so by mid-afternoon, the first kink in our plans made its
presence known.
Although we would be having a nice meal out with friends, I knew
I wouldn't be able to eat at the restaurant without getting sick and that I
couldn't allow that to happen if I wanted to see the Broadway show afterward.
So, with a few extra "supplies" inside my purse & under Andrew’s
arm, we got ready and had a wonderful time with Bart & Shannon at dinner. I
enjoyed a diet coke.
The other issue with a lengthy evening in the theatre is that I
still hadn't eaten and my body needs to have something every few hours. So,
during intermission, I whipped out my container of cereal and bottle of water
and refueled. The nerve-racking part of that is not knowing how my body is
going to react to its next dosage of food. Praise God, the cereal went over without
a hitch. We made it through ACT II and even squeezed in some pictures with
friends before leaving!
I am posting this for our curious friends. I know it is
confusing to see so many pictures of Andrew and me out enjoying shows but then
hearing things about my “health problems” and such. Like anybody, we just
make-do. We plan ahead for “major things” like Broadway shows and double dates
and basically cater to whatever my needs are when that day comes around.
I am grateful for a husband that carries my “supplies” when
called upon and leaves events early when my body has had enough. We take
pictures the Sunday mornings we both get to go to church together and on the
nights we have a spontaneous trip to get frozen yogurt.
With as many days as I spend in bed, we just really want to
focus on and remember the good feeling days…often the good feeling hours. So,
we take pictures – LOTS of pictures. You really just never know what kind of
condition someone’s health is in, because quite often, they look just like me.
We so often hear “BUT YOU ARE THE PICTURE OF HEALTH!” and just smile and think,
”If you only knew the truth of our day!” Ha!
Friday, October 4, 2013
Blessed with Support: An Open Letter of Gratitude
I would like to take an few minutes and let you all know how great an impact your love, kindness and support has been over the last week.
The Bible verses, words of encouragement, love and overall support has kept me afloat this past week. As you know, I had to move back in with my parents because I can no longer take care of myself. My MS/Parkinson's symptoms have flared up and at times I cannot walk or speak.
This wave of goodwill, compassion and prayers has completely overwhemled me with Joy. Thank you to all who contacted me in one way or another--I will never be able to adequately explain how much of an impact you all have had. You provided light during my darkest of days.
Chronic Lyme Disease is a terribly isolating condition. You lose tough with friends, you are too sick to have company, and some people simply do not want to deal with a Lymie, so they walk away out of your life. The isolation can be so severely devastating that you are so alone you feel numb and heartbroken at the same time.
One's outlook has a lot to do with how fast they heal. I had prided myself in staying positive for almost an entire year of treatment. But the past month or so I wrestled daily with trying to stay positive. My thoughts were turning negative as my body continued to shut down.
These past few days I have felt lighter and happier than I have since the negativity took over. And it is thanks to all of you who reached out and supported me. Knowing that many prayers and well-wishes were being said on my behalf gave me an overall feeling of peace and balance. And I felt loved...not isolated or left behind, but loved by so many.
Since my brain is a bit foggy I will share with you some of the words of encouragement I received:
"My darling friend, Sarah, is in a daily fight for her life against Chronic Lymes Disease. I wasn't aware until Sarah opened up to me about her struggle, how widely unrecognized Chronic Lyme is in the medical community, and because of it, how hard it is to be properly diagnosed and further, receive appropriate treatment. Not to mention, all the jerks who've insinuated she's faking the pain she's in because they don't believe in Chronic Lyme.
If you have a moment and a couple words either for or against the existence of Chronic Lyme, please follow the link and help begin the dialogue on this debilitating disease. I appreciate your time and candor in advance.
Shine on, soldiers!" -S.H
"I love your unbreakable spirit and feel so honored to be on this journey with you. Another day closer to restored health! I'm so thankful to have such an amazing, loyal, and caring friend..I'm glad I can reciprocate how great you are to me every now and again! I love you!!" -S.K
Sarah you are so strong. When most would give up you look to fight your battle head on! You will concur this. Thank you for being so positive. You are the light at the end of the tunnel to me. My struggle is nothing compared to yours and you remain positive. Stay as you are, beautiful, happy, fill of life and inspirational!!! -D.T
You are loved, Sarah Israel -- both by God and man. Look upward from whence comes our help! Much love and hang in there. -M.M
Sarah you are truly an example of strength and courage! Praying for you! -W.J
Saw this and thought about you! "Hearing this,Jesus said to Jairus," Don't be afraid; just believe, and she will be healed. " Luke 8:50 once again love you and stay strong! -L.D
Haven't seen you in years, but I still think about you when I think about friendship. You pretty much defined what friendship is to me. You are a kind, supportive, and strong person, and always have been. I miss you, and I want you to get well; everyone and anyone who's had the joy of being your friend is thinking and praying for you. -A.M
Sarah you continue to inspire us. We love you and will always be here for you! Let us know if you need anything. -W.M
Sarah- I have been following your story and I am so sorry to hear about all that you are dealing with. Your response is definitely inspiring. You're the same fighter you were in 7th grade volleyball -N.W
Every now and then I look back to college and relive the glory days. Whenever I close my eyes and think back to the people who made those "the best years of my life" I can see a petite, beautiful blonde. She was an older sister in my sorority, and by far my favorite. It wasn't just her unreal beauty that made her wonderful, it was her kindness, graciousness, and sincerity. Since college I followed her struggle with chronic lyme disease and have been devastated for her and her family. If there has ever been anyone that would fight through any challenge it would be Sarah Israel. To see her struggle and persevere, even through the challenges with the insurance industry, has been a humbling experience. Chronic Lyme Disease does exist. -BP
I will add more to this when my brain is a bit less foggy. I just really wanted to share my gratitude to all of you who have helped me. Your words have been so healing!
My sister Julia Israel is struggling, too. Her lyme treatment has caused her to have symptoms that almost mirror mine. She is a very private person, is good at hiding her pain, and is tough as nails. I hope that you will include her in your prayers. Many people do not know how terribly she is suffering because she does not shout it out from the rooftops (ok, Facebook..same thing) as I do. I decided to be open and honest about my journey so that I can speak for those who do not have a voice and hopefully spread as much awareness about this disease as I can. Julia hates people feeling sorry for her, so many of her friends are unaware of just how bad it is for her--she is so private about these things.
Julia, I hope I don't offend you or invade your privacy by posting this. I want you to feel the same amount of love and support as I do, if not more. You are most deserving and should have "the bleachers" (a great symbol my friend came up with for those who support you, cheering you on from the bleachers.)
Click here to learn about Lyme and Isolation
Click here to learn about How to Help a Lymie Out
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Awesome/Brilliant/Beautiful: Lyrics to Live and to Fight By
Note: You may want to wait and watch the clip after you read the blog post. Or perhaps during. Or again and again if it speaks to you the way it speaks to my heart.
Quick Background: Before I realized I had Lyme, I spent some time in LA working for a Celebrity and Fashion PR/Marketing firm that based most of its operations in events (charities, fashion shows, etc) and parties at their beach house in Malibu. In the age where people do not necessarily believe advertising like they once did in the early 90's (remember when you thought you could purchase a pair of Air Jordan's and add inches if not feet to your vertical?), this type of marketing we participated in is brilliant. We would have celebrities come to the parties in Malibu at the beach house. We would not invite the big-ticket movie stars that tended to keep their private life as 'private' as possible--we invited the celebs that loved being featured in the weeklies (Star Magazine, People, Us Weekly...basically all the gossip magazines that are impossible to ignore while you are checking out at the grocery store).
When the celebrities arrived to the party, they were not met with Paparazzi, but with young interns like myself with professional and non-invasive photographers that we had hired in tow. Any photo op we saw, we would throw a "prop" in their hand. For example, an energy drink we represented was placed in a celebs hand before the picture (or even better, we got a picture of them drinking it), or a branded surfboard whose company was paying us for marketing their image would appear in the background of the picture. We would get "candid" pictures of these celebrities 'using' certain beauty products and release the images and information to all the weeklies. Usually these pictures were shot to feel as if a lucky paparazzo caught a candid shot (we went as far as to shoot pictures through bushes at times to give them authenticity). They would be released in the magazines and the rest is brilliant marketing history.
As an example (she was NOT an attendee at any of our events and this product was never our client, but the analogy will make enough sense without me violating the non-disclosure rights of the company or any celebrity): You may not fully believe that SmartWater is why Jennifer Anniston is so beautiful and has not aged in years while looking at an advertisement of her holding it and smiling. But seeing her, in an assumed candid shot in a celebrity magazine, laughing with her friends while drinking SmartWater in real life, you begin to assume that maybe she does ACTUALLY drink SmartWater and it does help give her that carefree, youthful glow that we all desire. Do you want that beautiful glow, now, dear trashy magazine reader? I'm sure the reader would be running to buy a SmartWater after seeing her drinking it in what is assumed her real life. Get where I'm going with this?
Meeting My Inspiration: Sorry for the lengthy lead-in, but during this time I met one of the most influential people in my life. His name is Shaun Halloran. We were instantly best friends and kindred spirits. You know the feeling you get when you meet someone--where you just KNOW that you two are similar and will get along beautifully? When your intuition kicks in and overrules common sense, telling you that you can trust this person implicitly and within seconds you feel comfortable? That was the feeling that I got the first time I was introduced to Shaun. I think you only meet a handful of people in life who you have this instant connection with, but when you have it, it is an incredibly uplifting feeling that is nothing short of beautiful.
It was not until recently that I was able to put words to this intuitive letting down of walls when one, in any other situation, would usually not do so as quickly. To me, the word that best describes this is "Namaste." One definition is:
Quick Background: Before I realized I had Lyme, I spent some time in LA working for a Celebrity and Fashion PR/Marketing firm that based most of its operations in events (charities, fashion shows, etc) and parties at their beach house in Malibu. In the age where people do not necessarily believe advertising like they once did in the early 90's (remember when you thought you could purchase a pair of Air Jordan's and add inches if not feet to your vertical?), this type of marketing we participated in is brilliant. We would have celebrities come to the parties in Malibu at the beach house. We would not invite the big-ticket movie stars that tended to keep their private life as 'private' as possible--we invited the celebs that loved being featured in the weeklies (Star Magazine, People, Us Weekly...basically all the gossip magazines that are impossible to ignore while you are checking out at the grocery store).
When the celebrities arrived to the party, they were not met with Paparazzi, but with young interns like myself with professional and non-invasive photographers that we had hired in tow. Any photo op we saw, we would throw a "prop" in their hand. For example, an energy drink we represented was placed in a celebs hand before the picture (or even better, we got a picture of them drinking it), or a branded surfboard whose company was paying us for marketing their image would appear in the background of the picture. We would get "candid" pictures of these celebrities 'using' certain beauty products and release the images and information to all the weeklies. Usually these pictures were shot to feel as if a lucky paparazzo caught a candid shot (we went as far as to shoot pictures through bushes at times to give them authenticity). They would be released in the magazines and the rest is brilliant marketing history.
As an example (she was NOT an attendee at any of our events and this product was never our client, but the analogy will make enough sense without me violating the non-disclosure rights of the company or any celebrity): You may not fully believe that SmartWater is why Jennifer Anniston is so beautiful and has not aged in years while looking at an advertisement of her holding it and smiling. But seeing her, in an assumed candid shot in a celebrity magazine, laughing with her friends while drinking SmartWater in real life, you begin to assume that maybe she does ACTUALLY drink SmartWater and it does help give her that carefree, youthful glow that we all desire. Do you want that beautiful glow, now, dear trashy magazine reader? I'm sure the reader would be running to buy a SmartWater after seeing her drinking it in what is assumed her real life. Get where I'm going with this?
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| Shaun, singer/songwriter |
It was not until recently that I was able to put words to this intuitive letting down of walls when one, in any other situation, would usually not do so as quickly. To me, the word that best describes this is "Namaste." One definition is:
You can click on the linked phrase above to learn more about the lengthy and various definitions of "Namaste". But in more of a layman's terminology, Namaste, to me, means: "The light in me recognizes the light in you," meaning that our souls have an immediate, intimate connection; a oneness; a similar heart recognizing another that provides an instant, indescribable bond. When I met Shaun, the light in my soul recognized the light in his soul and I felt almost a magnetic force pulling me to him. We were inseparable during our time in California together and still remain close friends all these years later. I believe true friendship can be measured by time and distance: when Shaun and I have not seen or spoken to each other in a while, there is no awkward reacquainting period required. We pick up right where we left off, as if no time or distance had kept our souls apart. We were and had always been united.
Shaun was and is my go-to during times of trouble. He is poetic in both thought and action--while speaking with him he does not immediately respond, but has an almost unnoticeable brief pause followed by the most eloquent phrase of support or advice--always filled with beautiful words of wisdom. Sometimes the beauty of his words leave me speechless with tears in my eyes and a warmness in my heart.
Healing Lyrics to Live and Fight By: So, now that you know how I met Shaun and a few of the reasons I love him with all of my heart and why he will truly be a life-long friend, I want to share his latest endeavour with you. He has always written poetry and loves to sing--and lately the marriage of these two passions has produced some brilliant music. Even more impressive is that he has no technical training in songwriting, writing lyrical music, or vocal training. It all comes from the depths of his soul--an innately divine gift bestowed upon him by the Creator.
No matter what your battle in life--be in Chronic Lyme or something else--music is very healing. And the sign of truly beautiful, healing music is when it seems the song is being sung directly to you and was written about you.
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| Awesome/Brilliant/BEAUTIFUL |
After hearing the first song of his on YouTube, Awesome/Brilliant/Beautiful, when the pain gets too intense to manage or I am having a day where I cannot find the will to fight as strongly and positively as normal, I repeat this mantra to myself: I am Awesome. I am Brilliant. I am Beautiful.
Listening to empowering songs like the clip I posted above have a powerful impact on your spirit and your soul. I cannot help but hear those words, echoing in my head, like I just got off the phone with Shaun and received brilliant and inspiring advice as I have time and time again.
I know the song was not written about me, but it fills my head with thoughts of encouragement. I have come so far, why give up now?
After all, I AM awesome. I have fought a fight that is greater than myself; that many would have given into already. And I am BRILLIANT. I have researched and learned everything possible about this disease and about the power of positive thinking, along with methods to deal with severe pain, depression, and everything else Lyme throws at me. And finally, I AM beautiful. I am not speaking of my appearance, but of the inside of me; the very core of my soul. I have faced a maddening disease that comes with unspeakable unfairness, and because of the hardships that I have overcome, my soul shines brightly and emits a positive and peaceful aura that glows so brightly many can sense it when they are in my presence.
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| YOU are Awesome. YOU are Brilliant. YOU are Beautiful. |
So please now go back up to the top of this post and listen to the song, whether it be your first listen, second or third. Listen to it as many times as needed and listen to it when your days are the hardest. Let it sink into your soul and heal you internally. Let it inspire you. Let it transform you.
Believe the message was written directly to you, because I truly believe Shaun wrote this for every single one of us. He wrote it individually for each person who listens to it. That is what gives this song so much power. Please feel free to comment below if this song affects your heart and your soul as deeply as it does mine. God bless Shaun for sharing his divine talents with us all and God bless all who listen to his music and feel the power and warmth of the confidence it brings.
Believe the message was written directly to you, because I truly believe Shaun wrote this for every single one of us. He wrote it individually for each person who listens to it. That is what gives this song so much power. Please feel free to comment below if this song affects your heart and your soul as deeply as it does mine. God bless Shaun for sharing his divine talents with us all and God bless all who listen to his music and feel the power and warmth of the confidence it brings.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Friendship: A Key to Wellness
How the Gift of Jewelry Put Me Back on Track
As I have progressed through treatment and have started to slowly get better, my symptoms have changed drastically. Previously my worst symptoms were intense, borderline unbearable pain: extreme nerve pain, kidney stones, ruptured ovarian cysts, blinding migraines, etc. Pain so terrible that there are no words to describe it--it would cause my body to involuntarily flail around and convulse. At times it would cause me to scream so loudly I had neighbors knocking on my door--others I ended up curled into a ball on the bathroom unable to speak for hours. As terrible as the pain was, I was able to utilize techniques learned at pain management classes to deal with it and I became pretty good at handling this mind-numbing pain I experienced for the past year.
Recently, however, my neuroborreliosis has kicked in and my symptoms have changed completely. I have seizures, partial paralysis, and even temporary paralysis fairly often. My brain fog is so extreme that I will spend hours searching for something that ends up being in my hand...or spend hours searching for something and end up forgetting what I was looking for in the first place. It takes me about two hours to do what use to take me 10 minutes. My brain is literally not working most of the time. It is difficult to carry on a conversation because I go on long tangents, forget what we were talking about, or get so confused I just have to stop talking. If you do not stop me, I will tell you the exact same story three times in fifteen minutes--not realizing I had told the story seconds earlier. I also have pretty severe dementia, and these symptoms are exacerbated with fatigue.
So, prior to this weekend, I had spent two weeks in bed in a comatose-like state. It is embarrassing for me to admit (but I want other Lymies to know they are not alone in this), but I spent the entire two weeks staring blankly at the ceiling and drooling on myself with no contact with the outside world. I could not get up to go to the bathroom because the room was moving around so violently. Nothing made sense and I was hallucinating pretty severely. The only way I know how to describe it was that I felt like I was on a two week long bad trip from some terrible, evil drug. I even had constant loud noises that I would hear (hallucinations) that haunted me every second and left me even more confused. I felt completely disconnected from my body--like I was watching this horrible process happen to someone else.
Five days would pass in what seemed like a few hours, and then one day would feel like a month. Time made no sense to me and I could not remember what I had done five minutes ago. It was more terrifying than any type of pain I have ever been through. I had temporarily completely lost my mental faculties. Feeling myself literally going crazy is one of the scariest things I have ever endured. It seemed as if I was spiraling out of control faster and faster each day. I could not walk, so I would crawl if I had to get out of bed. Several times I got lost in my small two bedroom condo and did not know where I was. I would just curl up on the floor, crying, until I could remember how to get back to my room.
To put what Chronic Lyme treatment does to your body in perspective, I have a friend who had breast cancer and conquered it after a few years. She then got Lyme but luckily caught it very early. She only had to be on the treatment protocol for six months, yet she told me that her Lyme journey was significantly more difficult than going through chemotherapy. I am sure that this is not always the case for people who have battled both, but society for the most part has no clue how hellish going through treatment for this potentially fatal disease is.
Even my close friends do not know how bad it is--I put a lot of energy into not letting it show when I am well enough to be around people. It is too jarring of an image to see a friend convulsing uncontrollably, screaming at the top of their lungs, then transitioning into a state being unable to speak, and then fall into paralysis that can last from a few minutes to several hours. During these episodes, my boyfriend takes amazing care of me, but when I open my eyes I have no idea who the stranger standing over me is and it absolutely breaks my heart to not recognize the man that I love with my entire being who has been so incredibly supportive, patient, and nurturing during this entire process.
Finally, after two full weeks of living Hell, I was able to begin to carry on a decent conversation again. I was able to get out of bed and actually walk. Within two days I was able to function with a sense of something closer to normalcy. After having no human interaction for so long, I was craving being around people that understood I was sick and would not judge me or act differently around me for it.
Luckily, it was one of my good friend's birthdays and we celebrated with a small group at my lake house. I put a lot of energy and concentration into trying to act as "normal" as possible. I so badly needed to feel like a normal person, just for a few days, and forget about this battle I have been fighting for so long.
When Lyme is in your brain, it can cause severe changes in your personality. I have retrained the way I think and have been able to maintain a very positive attitude for the most part of my journey. But now that the Lyme in my brain is flared up, I have caught my personality changing for the worse. I could not help but feel jealous seeing my married friends interact with each other--playing around, having fun, and so obviously blissfully in love. I felt so guilty that my boyfriend has been deprived of that for so long. I felt so much anger watching everyone having so much fun, being carefree, and enjoying life. I was not angry at them, but at myself and my disease. These feelings were so intense that it scared me--I have never been the person to feel this way, and I felt so ashamed that these horrible thoughts had even crossed my mind. I have been determined that I will not let my Lyme change my personality but no matter how hard I fight it these feelings get through the walls I created to stop them. This drastic change in personality for the worse, unfortunately, is all a very normal part of what everyone goes through while undergoing treatment for chronic Lyme. It does not happen because you are depressed about being sick or because you have a bad attitude...the Lyme spirochetes are literally attacking the part of your brain that affects your personality and the way you think. However, knowing that this newfound negativity has a medical impetus does not make it any easier to deal with.
Now that I have explained my state of mind going into this weekend, I will let you know the beauty that came from being around supportive friends that I trust enough to let some of my walls down. I still cannot help but put a smile on my face and try to act happy...that is just innately a part of me that wants to please others and not burden them with my illness.
Although I was mentally foggy and had a few episodes, I was able to truly enjoy myself. I pushed myself too hard, knowing the painful repercussions I would later face, but I felt that mentally I needed it so badly and it was worth it. I was able to have so much fun and come out of isolation--it was pure bliss.
When everyone left, two of our friends gave me a gift. These two people are some of the most kind, supportive, and beautiful souls I have ever met. Instead of backing away from me once I became very ill (which is a natural reaction for most people), this couple became more involved in my life and have been an integral part of my healing process emotionally. To know I have others who care about me so deeply gives me the strength to keep fighting. Isolation is one of the worst parts of this disease..many people do not understand it so most friends back away and out of the picture completely. The phrase "you find out who your friends are" rings true...but sadly in most cases the lesson is that you find out who your friends are not. Unfortunately, due to this and many other reasons, the suicide rate in lyme patients is shockingly high. That is something I would NEVER resort to or even consider, but the isolation I face is very common in the Lyme world. So having friends like this couple is one of the greatest blessings that God has bestowed upon me and I am so fortunate to have them in my life. So, back to the purpose of this post: the Key. When I opened my gift on Sunday, my neuro symptoms were starting to act up again--I was having difficulty speaking, I was stuttering or using incorrect words, and I started having the symptoms that generally lead up to an episode of seizures followed by paralysis. When I read the card and opened the jewelry box, I started crying uncontrollably with tears of joy and appreciation.
This couple with such warm and loving hearts had given me a necklace with a key on it. The key was stamped with the word "Inspire." It was one of the Giving Keys, which you can read more about by clicking the link.
From their website: "The Giving Keys exists to employ those transitioning out of homelessness to make jewelry out of repurposed keys that get sold and shared around the world. Each key is unique and carries a message like HOPE, STRENGTH, DREAM or COURAGE. When the wearer of the key encounters someone else who needs the message on the key, they give it away and then send us the story of their key being paid forward."
This was one of the most beautiful gifts I have ever received. I immediately put it around my neck and have only taken it off to take pictures to post on here. The length of the chain is long enough so that the key falls close to my heart. It reminds me that I have incredible people in my life who love and support me no matter what--even when I am sick and not fun to be around. They accept me exactly the way I am right now, and that means more to me than those two incredible beings will ever know.
The inscription, "Inspire," also has reminded me to stop feeling sorry for myself like I had been doing during those two weeks. Every person that has Chronic Late Stage Lyme Disease goes through what I am going through. The key is a constant reminder of a promise I made to myself many months ago: To seek out the good that has and will come from the bad. I have no choice but to fight this battle, but since I am forced to go through this, I am going to find the silver lining and use it to help others who are suffering as I am.
God has helped me to see all of the good that has come from me being sick and has used me as an instrument to help others who are sick and to help me grow and mature as a more peaceful and grounded child of God. All of the positive memories of things I have been able to accomplish because of my illness came flooding back to me as I put the chain around my neck. It was the perfect present given to me at the exact moment I needed it the most.
This beautiful gesture of support enabled me to snap out of my negativity and I found that divine power deep in my heart that gives me the strength and courage to fight this battle with a peaceful and positive mindset; something that the past two weeks had taken from me.
I truly believe God places angels on the Earth and works through them to accomplish amazing things. I believe this couple epitomizes that. They have been best friends with my boyfriend for well over a decade, but had no history with me until they met me through my boyfriend--therefore having no obligation to go out of their way on so many occasions to help me and be there for me.
This beautiful gift has inspired me to continue fighting this battle--and once I conquer it, I will be able to pay it forward and pass this key along to someone else who is in need. By giving me this gift, they started a cycle that will continue to perpetuate and help countless people in the years ahead as it is passed on from one person to another. To me, this key symbolizes hope of remission and supportive life-long friendship. God has truly put some amazing people in my path and for that I will be eternally grateful.
To the two that gave me this beautiful gift: I am eternally grateful. I so appreciate you reminding me of my mission to inspire other Lymies and those suffering from other chronic conditions or invisible illnesses. Thank you so much for everything you have done for me...I will never find the words to adequately express what a meaningful impact you have made on my life. God bless you both and I love you. -Sarah
This is what I received from the couple in response to my blog: "We chose the 'Inspire' key because you have inspired us to be better, more caring people..and to be stronger, happier people who know that anything is possible. Also because you have been such an inspiration to others by educating, battling and overcoming on a daily basis!"
The people that love and care about you when times are the toughest are the mark of great individuals and incredible friends. I am blessed.
**Update**: Minutes after posting this I learned of yet another loss of life of a Lyme patient to suicide that occurred a few hours ago. For those who read my blog because you have friends or family that are afflicted by this terrible disease and you want to learn more about it to adequately help them, please ensure that they have a proper support system. It is not fail-proof, but by doing so you could save a person's life. I try to remain as positive as possible in nature in my posts, but we have lost so many Lymies over the past few months and it needs to be addressed. Please feel free to message me on here or on our facebook page if you need advice on supporting a loved one with Lyme.
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